Redemption

In my post "the most challenging thing" I told you guys of the stress I was under ordering take away Vietnamese for a dinner party some friends and I were having for some other friends that were leaving the next day. If it wasn't for the some strangers' kindness we would not have had anything to eat that night. Well I went back to the place again tonight to order take away for myself. It's not the first time that I've been back though. Went back last tuesday and ate in the restaurant with my head buried in the Hanyu shu (chinese books) and barely looked at any of the fuwuyuan (waiters) for fear that they would recognize me and laugh at me because of my prior humiliation. This time I had no such fears because I was hungry. I went to the take away counter and pointed at the pictures and order: zhe ge, zhe ge, na ge (pronounced jig ga, jig ga, neg ga (don't get me started)) which means this, this and that. Then asked duo shao qian (how much?) all confident like and wonders of wonders I was completely understood. They told me how much I paid it and waited from my food to come.

As I'm waiting one of the guys who tried to help the first time I tried ordering came over and said in broken English "you name Wil" not sure if statement of fact or question so I said yes and then we just looked at eachother and smiled. I learned my lesson the first time I wasn't going to try to speak chinese again. No way buddy. But after an awkward minute or so of just smiling I asked in chinese what his name was. Blank look. (Aside: If I can understand the broken english asking if I'm Wil why can't the chinese understand my broken chinese asking what his name is? So what some of the tones might be wrong and I may be saying "You dead horse is called what? " Isn't it implied somewhere in the words, if not the tones that I'm asking what you are called i.e. what's your name and not really asking about your dead horse?) I then ask again making sure that I'm speaking slowly and clearly and being very conscious of my tones "Ni jiao shenme mingzi?" Oh frakking happy days, the light goes on, he starts to smile and he ANSWERS ME BACK! What are you kidding me? He really understood me. We start this small conversation in broken english and broken chinese but we are communicating and I'm as happy as a pig in shyte to quote Yvonne Chappell. Another fuwuyuan comes overs and we start talking. Granted sometime I have to reign these guys in because they start talking really fast and now it's my turn to give the blank stare. I tell them to slow down and they do. I'm amazed at how much I'm really communicating in chinese. They ask me how long have I been studying, I tell them one month. They ask where I'm from, where I live, if I like Beijing, do I work (ha, try explaining vagabonding to someone who's never heard of it and work and school is all they know. I tell them that I take learn chinese during the day and explore in the afternoons and I'm saying all of this in chinese. They are impressed that I know as much as I do only after one month. I'm impressed with their english and how just like me how much they want to practice their english as I do my chinese. The three of us make a deal to practice when I come into the restaurant in the future. It was so much fun trying to get to the root of what each other was saying and then finding some common word(s) that made sense to all. And all of us laughing at each others eagerness to practice what we've learned in the others language. So much fun.

I left there feeling redeemed. I'd just broke down that wall that I had built up around myself. That wall that said I'm not speaking this language to any locals until I can do so flawlessly. Silly little William, silly little Billy trying to be perfect at the chinese. Go ahead you can laugh, I'm laughing at myself too. Lesson definitely learned!!

I'm not afraid to try to speak chinese any more and that feels good.

Thanks for listening. - Wil