Today I've had to do the most challenging thing of my Beijing life. A friend is leaving Beijing tomorrow so we are hanging a dinner get together at my apartment tonight. Carole and Jasmin are getting the drinks and I was left to go to order the dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant for take away (that's "take out" to you and me).
I prep or a good hour before I walked into the place. I went so far as to write out my script. I was ready. I walked into the place and walked to the counter in the back and said Diao zou? (Take away?) And wonder of wonders she gave me the take away menu. So far so good. Then I said Bu xianzai (not now). A quizzical look. My sheng (tones) are probably all wrong. (If nothing else Chinese (Zhongwen) is a study in tones.) And from there is just goes downhill really really fast.
I thought I said: Jintian yeli wo xiang you diao zou. Bu xianzai. Jiu dian wode nu pengyou yao lai le. Hen hao? (I would like to order take away for tonight. Not for now. My girl friend will come and get at 9pm. Very good? ) Unfortunately, I have not idea what tones came out where, what tone I didn't say. All I got was a funny look and the waitress went looking for someone else who has mastered English (Yingwen) and Chinese because clearly this idiot before her didn't know what the hell he was saying. The savior came in the form of this really tall American guy. The waitress brought him over and he came up smiling and asked if I he could help. I explained the situanario and he told them in flawless Chinese what I wanted. Case close. I ordered a ton of food which amount to 275 rmb or about $35 and beat a path to the my favorite watering hole and started writing this post.
Thankfully the cold sweat finally left me. I'm not sure if I will ever be able to speak Chinese but I know I'll understand it. My ear at hearing what's being said is getting better. Went to see Red Cliff the other day. A new epic Chinese drama directed by John Woo and while it was subtitled I was able to understand some of the dialogue. Talk about a huge smile on my face. I was like "Oh shit, I know what he said." Huge shit eating grin on my face. Talking Chinese is another story. Apparently only my laoshi and classmates know what i'm saying.
Here's hoping that your words are true and your thoughts are clear.
- Wil
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3 comments:
Funny thing. I was talking with some one about John Woo the other day. An elderly gentleman told me about JW about 15 years ago. His movies involve quite a bit of blowing stuff up, I mentioned this to the person who I was having a converstion with. Its not just all bang and flash, its action, flash & bang. Same thing with speaking german, I understood more than I could speak.
MJChappell
your posts are reminding me a lot of my bro's stay in Korea -he hated the stares though - he could understand Korean but had no confidence in talking it!
glad your doing well!
You tall, crazy am-er-i-can! Why you sit on lawn and strum you guitar! You look crazy, you tall crazy am-er-i-can! Ah, the memories that brought up. Not as foreign as your tales, but I recall being in Bermuda few years back and I rented a moped and buzzed the whole island, making sure I hit every street, and while on the way back to the hotel around dusk, I stopped off at a roadhouse bar that had a live band. I stayed and had a few beers and enjoyed the music and made some friends. I went to the bathroom when the band went off, and by the time I came back to my seat, all the tables and chairs were gone. No kidding. All the people I talked to were gone and it was me and about 100 locals. I was the only white face in the place, my tan was more like a bright red since I had been on the moped all day and I was obviously the only tourist. That should have been my cue...but being an alcoholic and of the "bukowski/burroughs" ilk, there is not a drunk that I can't out drink, so I stuck around and began to wear my welcome. I engaged in some conversations that went nowhere fast and when it was completely dark, the smell of "organics" were everywhere and I tried to make friends with the holders. That was a disaster. I tried stepping in on a circle and stiking up some talk with the holders and I was summerily told to "get the F out of our bar, you f'in wanker". Ah, its so nice to hear the locals talk their accents in such lovely ways towards me. As I donned my helmet and started the moped, I had a beer thrown at me. It hurt. So, I tore ass out the street and when I came to the intersection, I realized that a car was speeding towards me and flashing its lights. Would you know it, it was a local who found the patrons at the bar "dispicable" and took it upon himself to catch up and apologize to me. He asked that I come back to the bar and I respectfully declined showing him the dent in the rented moped that was still dripping beer. He asked how much I spent at the bar and I told him about 20 bermudian that came out to about 35 american at the time. He handed me 40 and apologized again. I refused the money saying "its not your bar, why are you trying give me the loot back" and thats when he introduced himself as Desmond, the owner of the bar.
I took my 40 dollars back and thanked him : ) He said if I ever go back, make sure and come by again..."before dusk".
So, the moral of the story is...you should have stripped down to your tighty whiteys and swam with the locals. They would have been astounded and they might well have applauded your manliness...or they would have gotten out the pitchforks and the torches and drove your frankenstein sized body as far from the lake as they could...either way, the adventure is more than half of the journey.
Go out on the short limbs.
Never turn down a chance to make an ass out of yourself in the cpmpany of strangers.
Rock out with your rooster out.
Signed,
Eli
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