You don't know Thailand

It had been a while since I got my dance on so I decided Monday that I was going to check out the night life on Koh Samui specifically the Chaweng area where all the bars clubs are on Koh Samui.  As I was on the internet in the lobby of my guesthouse I asked the bellboy (his name is Vit) if the Green Mango was happening on Monday night.  (On my ride in from the airport to Lamai where I was staying on Koh Samui we had to pass through Chaweng and my taxi driver pointed out the Green Mango as a place to visit.  My Lonely Planet guidebook also mentioned this place as a must visit stop.)  Vit says yes, but it's best to go after midnight when the music is hopping and the crowd is bigger.  Prior to midnight he says the place is dead.  He asks if I was going alone and I say yes.  He then tells me that he can get me a girl for 300 baht who would be willing to stay with me all night long.  $1 US = 34 baht and doing the math that's a bargain!, but I tell him no thanks I'm just looking to dance my ass off.  I ask him how much a cab would cost and he says "around 600 baht" makes a face and says "too expensive."  What he doesn't know if that with the conversion rate I'm a gajillionaire on this tiny island.  LOL.  He's says that if I wait until he gets off from work at 11pm he would take me on his scooter since I'm alone and says that I shouldn't be alone not because it's not safe but just because I shouldn't be alone.  Awww!  I accept his offer and he says he will stop by my room to pick me up after he showers and change his clothes.  I agree and continue checking email and talking to Takeshia, Lady D and Pa Ne Ne on gmail chat.  

Around 1130 pm Vit comes to my room and we leave.  The ride on his scooter was scary and I prayed the entire way asking God to let me live to get there safely.  At the same time I contemplated the foolishness of riding a small scooter with a speed freak on darkly lit, curvy mountain roads.  Thankfully we arrived in one piece.  

We arrive at midnight and the place is still dead.  People are there but not a lot.  We order drinks and I check out the club.  It really is a nice place with pool tables (8), two dance floors, one for hip to the hop and one for house, electronic, pop etc and plenty of bars.  The place was still dead so we ended up playing pool for an hour or so where Vit won 4 games and I won two only because he scratched on the 8 ball.  (I think that pool must be the official Thai past time.  Seems like every one is really good at pool on this island.  I was in a pool tournament earlier in the week and was up against a Thai player who proceeded to kick my arse and eliminate me from the tournament.)  When we finished playing pool the crowd had picked up considerable and now the place was packed.  

You ever have one of those moment when you walk past someone and say "God she's or he's gorgeous."  Well I had one of these moments shortly after checking out the now crowded dance floor.  We was really cute.  She said hello as I walked by and I said hello and next thing you know Vit was there talking to her in Thai whilst all the while she's looking at me smiling with a twinkle in her eye.  I offer to by her a drink and we go to the bar where Vit is keeping up his conversation with her in Thai.  I tell him to shut up and ask her what he's saying.  She says that he's saying that I'm a nice guy from the U.S and that I'm here alone blah blah blah.  I find out her name is Wassaan (pronounced Wa Sa Anne) and that she's from mainland Thailand about 3 hours away from Bangkok.  She goes to the restroom and Vit comes over clapping me on the back telling me that she's a good girl blah blah blah.  I reiterate to him as clearly as possible that I'm just here to dance and not here to pick up girls.   He says "I know, I know."  

Wassaan come back from the restroom and we dance.  It's house music, R&B and Pop and I'm having a good time.  Wassaan is not really a bad dancer but makes the classic mistake that a lot of people make when dancing and dances to fast for the music.  She falls into the category of dancers who know the moves that they are going to make while dancing so they don't listen to the music and adjust accordingly.  It's sad really because you end up looking silly.  But we danced anyway because you know I love to dance.  We dance a while and then go back to the to get a drink.  She goes to the restroom again but before she leaves she starts kissing me on the neck.  Okaaayyyy.   She comes back, we finish our drinks and dance some more.  

This time on the dance floor is different.  There is a lot of kissing of the neck, trying to kiss my lips, there is grabbage of my crotch all leading me to believe that she is looking for something more than just dancing with me.  This was confirmed when Vit tells me on our next dance break that she wants to go home with me and then tells me "no money, no money, you don't have to pay!"  No!  When she comes back from the restroom (third time in and hour for those of you counting.  I think she might be doing coke or just has a weak bladder.) we talk some more and find out while she feeling me up and snuggling in my neck all the while trying to give me tongue, that she's 30 years old has three kids and she didn't have a "job".  I didn't want to ask anymore not my business, not my job so we dance and it's clear what she wants.  When the song ends we go back to the bar and I tell her that I'm only out tonight to dance.  I tell her that I'm not looking to take her or anyone else home with me tonight.  I'm looking in her eyes to make sure that she understand this then reach out to touch her shoulder.  She backs away from me with a look of anger in her eyes.  I try to touch her shoulder again and she backs away again.  I explain again that I'm just looking to drink and dance and that's it.  She gets an attitude and turns away from me.  Okay.  I tell them I'm out of here and start walking to the front of the club.  Once there I grab a drink and a seat and watch as first Wassaan leaves the club looking for me, can't find me then goes back inside, followed by Vit who comes out look for me, doesn't see me sitting right there in front of him and then goes back inside.  Fuck 'em.  I sit there drinking my gin tonic.  Few minutes later Vit comes out and sees me.  He comes over and says that "maybe I think she love you.  I think maybe she think you love her the way you dance with her."  I tell him that that's the way I dance with everyone.  No love involved.   He tells me "I don't know Thailand" and I tell him that he doesn't know me!  I tell him that I'm not like every Tom, Dick and Harry that comes to Thailand to get there dick wet.  I tell him that I told him many times that I just came out to dance and dance only.  He apologized profusely and we hop on his scooter and head back to the hotel.  

On the way back to the hotel we pass this bar called Big Bar that Vit says he hasn't been to in a while and wants to know if I want to stop.  I agree and we go inside.  It's a hip hop bar full of locals, not a tourist or hooker girl in sight.  We spend the next 2 hours there having an amazing time.  I end up getting drunk off of some blue drink that Vit orders for me because the bartender couldn't understand that I wanted a gin tonic.  He asks if I'm having a good time and I assured him that I am.  We leave and head back to the hotel but stop at a little roadside restaurant and have a very tasty Thai meal.  My head is spinning from the blue drinks and I think that I'm going to blow chunks a couple of times but don't thankfully.  

I'm dreading the ride back to the hotel because now my head is spinning.  Fortunately, Vit is not a speed demon on the ride back and he drops me off safely.  It's 5am and I'm seriously tipsy and tired.  I wake up at 230pm later that day.  Thankfully it's overcast so I didn't miss any sun time.  

I see Vit later that day and he happy to see me.  He tells his fellow bellboys what a good time we had last night.  I'm not sure if he mentioned all of last nights happening to his fellow staffers but they all seem to be extra friendly, both men and women and are extremely accommodating during the reminder of my stay.  

- Wil