Home. What happened? Lessons Learned. What's next? Thank you.

For those that don't know I wanted to let you know that after Thailand I made my way back to NYC and the comfort of home and family.  

I also want to say Thank You for reading the Vagabond Monologues.  I thank you for your comments on the blog, your questions and your private emails and phone calls to me letting me know how much you appreciate the blog.  The comment that I've received the most from people is that "it feels like I'm there along with you living this adventure."  I can't tell you how much that and all your comments means to me.  Thank you.   

Many have said to me that I thought that you were going to be away a lot longer after China and in truth I was.  My original plan was to visit Vietname, Laos, the Philippines and any other country that struck my fancy.  Fortunately or unfortunately this wasn't to be the case.  

What happened you might ask?  In a nutshell the kids at COSO happened.  I was emotionally tired beat.  I knew when I left I had gotten emotionally attached to the kids.  I knew that.  It was really hard leaving but leave I did secure in the knowledge that me sponsoring Torla through COF was the right thing to do.  When I got to Koh Samui, Thailand and was confronted with dreary weather the first four days there and a sinus infection headache that lasted for four days.  The weather echoed my mood.  I was pensive and every waking moment my thoughts turned to Torla, Votha, Srey and the rest of the kids there.  I couldn't get them out of my mind.  I toyed with the idea of leaving Koh Samui and going back to Siem Reap and spending the next few weeks there hanging with the kids.  I thought about permanently moving to Siem Reap.  I thought about adoption.  I thought about working with Nick and the work that he's doing in Siem Reap.  (This was so typical Wil.  Thinking about packing up and moving and making a major decision based purely on emotions.  Fortunately, I've never been burned by acting rash like this in the past.  This time, however, I let logical side guide my heart and have come up with other ways that I can help out.)  I thought and thought and thought until I couldn't think anymore and then I thought go home.  So I came home.  

The only person that I knew that I was coming home was my sister Sharon.  She had strict instructions not to let the family know.  When I walked in the door of my mother's place needless to say she was pleasantly surprised, hugged me and said "Now I can stop worrying."  Mothers.  

I realized that my journey was divided into two distinct parts.  There was the 9 weeks in China and the security of having a roof over my head and a place to call home.  And then there was the other part where everything and I do mean everything was up in the air.  My friend Paul Murdock had warned me prior to leaving for China that this second leg of the trip wouldn't be easy particularly since I was traveling alone.  I poo poo-ed him and dismissed the warning and told him that I wasn't concerned because I was used to being by myself for the majority of the time.  I'm not going to say that I'm a loner rather just secure and comfortable with being with me.  The realization of his words hit me in the first four days of Cambodia.  Touring the temple ruins by yourself, while initially interesting became old and boring after a while.  Exploring all that there was to see in Siem Reap wasn't nearly as interesting as it could have been if I had had a good friend along for the ride.  Going out for dinner by myself, which I am extremely comfortable doing, became a chore.  I could have easily met people out at the bars and night spots but I didn't want this leg of my trip to be about consuming mass quantities of alcohol, stumbling home at all hours of the night accompanied by a hangover the next day.  I didn't want that.  I didn't want to be surrounded by the twenty-somethings whose only goal was to get wasted and/or hook up (not that there is anything wrong with that).  I didn't want to be that person.   I didn't want to be that "old" (compared to the 20 somethings) guy sitting at the bar alone amidst all the drunken revelry.  I wasn't going to go out like that.  So I spent time alone and truly didn't have a bad time at all but missed the company of a good friend with me.  By now you know the story of me meeting Simone and Nadja from a prior post.  This was the seminal moment in the Siem Reap leg of the trip.  If not for this meeting I'm not sure how it all would have turned out.  

The thing about leaving one place or in my case two places Beijing and Siem Reap, and going to another country is that you now have to do the same thing all over again.  You have to get the lay of the land.  Explore and find out what is around you.  Try to meet new people; and I did.  You have to get used to yet another language and explain over and over again that you want Absolute and Cranberry and inevitable get the looks that say "i have no idea what the hell you are asking for" or "cranberry?"  You have to explain over and over again what it is  you want, sometimes for the most simplest of things.  Tiring to say the least and I realized that I wasn't up for it again.  Partly because my heart was still in Siem Reap but also because I just couldn't work up the energy to tell my story yet again and again and again.  So I came home. 

I've mentioned in a prior post that I saw the faces of my nieces and nephews in the face of the kids at COSO.  What I haven't expressed however was how powerful and jolting the experience was.  I'd look up and see the face and the Hershey's chocolate Kiss complexion of my nephew and good buddy Chance looking at me.  I turn left or right and see the face of my niece Madison looking at me from seven thousand miles away.  I'd see wide eyed enthusiasm of my nephew Robbie.  I'd see my 17 year old nephew Nigel as he was when he was much much younger in the face of a young boy calling me "Wheeeeel" just like Nige used to do when trying to pronounce Uncle Wil.  I'd see the playful terror of my nephew Noah in many of the little kids who had to be including in absolutely everything.  I'd see the wisdom in my niece Dominique in the girls who initially stand off to the side and see what you were all about before they came over and got to know you.  I'd see the quiet reserve and then explosive playfulness of my nephew Darius in the kids who acted like they were not really part of the goings on but would get you when you weren't looking.  I missed them all.  So I came home.  

I have had an amazing time in the past three months, four if you count the month in Biloxi.  I've meet some of the most amazing people that you will ever meet and plan on staying in contact with them.  Thank God for Facebook and email.   (If Mary from Koh Samui is reading this please email me.  Wrote your email and blog address in that book I was reading and left it in the room at my guesthouse.)  I wish you all could meet each and every single one of them that I did.  My life is richer because of them.  

Lessons Learned:.  

The squat toilet is not to be feared.  Once you figure you which way you are supposed to face and what to do with your penis and that you don't have to take your pants off and after you get the balancing part down and hope and pray that they supply toilet paper or napkins so you can wipe your ass all the while trying not to get your pants wet from the wet floor or by accidentally peeing on them it's really a no brainer. 

Gestures, smiles and pointing goes a long way if you don't know the language.    Talking louder in English does not make one bit of a difference particularly of the person you are now yelling at doesn't know English.  Duh people.

I can haggle with the best of them.  Very mindful of the fact that I still want to the seller to make a profit on their sale but I don't want to get ripped of either.  And they will try to rip you off too.  

The "check sign" in the air is universal recognized no matter where you go. 

You never really know what you are capable of until you've have to wipe your ass and not drop it in the toilet.   If there is a garbage can near the toilet bowl this means that you need to drop your toilet paper there and not in the toilet.  The plumbing in some countries  simply can not take toilet paper in the pipes.  Disposing of a tissue full of shit in a pail next to the toilet...No Problem.  Next! 

I don't need a closet full of clothes and shoes to survive.  It's nice having them but I don't need them to live my life.  

Societal economies aside people are the same everywhere you go.   "We all know that people are the same wherever you go/There's good and bad in everyone/we learn to live/we learn to give each other what we need to survive."  Ebony and Ivory written by Sir Paul McCartney

Tourists are stupid.  Nuff said.  

So what's next?  

I've been asked this question often since I've been back.  Honestly right now I'm just extremely happy being home.  I do have some plans going forward though.  One is that I'd like to get my realestate license so that I can work with my brother in his realestate office.  Better commissions with me working with him than working for some other firm.  Two, hopefully I'll be consulting with some friends out in NJ on some business that they are getting off the ground in the coming months.  

Additionally, I'd like to take a page out of Nadja and Simone's book and get together some friends and have a clothing, school supply and funds drive to benefit the kids at COSO.  I figure that with all the people that I know they are bound to have slightly used kids clothing and adult summer clothing that their kids and they are no longer using or children's book and supplies that could be put to use or spare change (and I do mean change because in the economy everyone is holding all to all the dollars they have) that is lying around in between couches, mason jars, cans tuck away someplace.  A small amount a change from me alone might not mean anything; a couple of dollars at best.  Multiply that by the number of people reading this and the number of people that they may know and well that could make the difference in a lot of kids life.  That being said if you are the slightest bit interested in joining me or if you have any ideas on how I can make this happen please email me at:  wilchappell@gmail.com  I welcome your company in this endevour or your input.  

I've been back in the States for three weeks today and I couldn't be happier.  There is something about coming home and being around the familiar that is extremely comforting.  Hearing the sounds that I'm used to hearing.  Seeing the sights that I'm used to seeing and the fellowship of the people that I'm used to loving.  I know that I can't be that far away from my familial base.  I need to at least be on the same continent because there is an element of me that is missing when I'm that far away.   So as much as I enjoyed my stay in China and Cambodia and Thailand I will not be moving there.  Visit when I can, yes, often if possible, yes, but won't be moving there.  With everything that is going on right now in this world the best place for me is right here with my family.  Together we can weather any storm; economic, financial or natural.  

Thank you again for reading The Vagabond Monologues.  It's been an incredible ride.  I didn't know that I had this literary voice, not that this is any where near close to being literature, more like the ramblings of a person who likes to talks too much.  I didn't know that I had it in me to keep it up and let my voice be heard.  Here we are some 68 posts later and the journey is at an end.   Thank you for traveling with me.  Thank you for hanging out till all hours of the night with me.   Thank you for trying all the new and exotic foods.  Thank you for crying with me.  Thank you for having my back in the fight.  Thank you for LYFAO with me.   Thank you for helping me put smiles on the faces of some incredible kids.  Thank you for traipsing through temple ruin after temple ruins with me.  Thanks for hiking the Great Wall with me and being at the opening day of Track and Field in the Bird's Nest with me.  Never thought that you'd be there with me taking an explosive squat did you but thanks for being there too.  Thanks for being with me.  More importantly thank you for my welcome home.  

Thanks!!  - Wil

You don't know Thailand

It had been a while since I got my dance on so I decided Monday that I was going to check out the night life on Koh Samui specifically the Chaweng area where all the bars clubs are on Koh Samui.  As I was on the internet in the lobby of my guesthouse I asked the bellboy (his name is Vit) if the Green Mango was happening on Monday night.  (On my ride in from the airport to Lamai where I was staying on Koh Samui we had to pass through Chaweng and my taxi driver pointed out the Green Mango as a place to visit.  My Lonely Planet guidebook also mentioned this place as a must visit stop.)  Vit says yes, but it's best to go after midnight when the music is hopping and the crowd is bigger.  Prior to midnight he says the place is dead.  He asks if I was going alone and I say yes.  He then tells me that he can get me a girl for 300 baht who would be willing to stay with me all night long.  $1 US = 34 baht and doing the math that's a bargain!, but I tell him no thanks I'm just looking to dance my ass off.  I ask him how much a cab would cost and he says "around 600 baht" makes a face and says "too expensive."  What he doesn't know if that with the conversion rate I'm a gajillionaire on this tiny island.  LOL.  He's says that if I wait until he gets off from work at 11pm he would take me on his scooter since I'm alone and says that I shouldn't be alone not because it's not safe but just because I shouldn't be alone.  Awww!  I accept his offer and he says he will stop by my room to pick me up after he showers and change his clothes.  I agree and continue checking email and talking to Takeshia, Lady D and Pa Ne Ne on gmail chat.  

Around 1130 pm Vit comes to my room and we leave.  The ride on his scooter was scary and I prayed the entire way asking God to let me live to get there safely.  At the same time I contemplated the foolishness of riding a small scooter with a speed freak on darkly lit, curvy mountain roads.  Thankfully we arrived in one piece.  

We arrive at midnight and the place is still dead.  People are there but not a lot.  We order drinks and I check out the club.  It really is a nice place with pool tables (8), two dance floors, one for hip to the hop and one for house, electronic, pop etc and plenty of bars.  The place was still dead so we ended up playing pool for an hour or so where Vit won 4 games and I won two only because he scratched on the 8 ball.  (I think that pool must be the official Thai past time.  Seems like every one is really good at pool on this island.  I was in a pool tournament earlier in the week and was up against a Thai player who proceeded to kick my arse and eliminate me from the tournament.)  When we finished playing pool the crowd had picked up considerable and now the place was packed.  

You ever have one of those moment when you walk past someone and say "God she's or he's gorgeous."  Well I had one of these moments shortly after checking out the now crowded dance floor.  We was really cute.  She said hello as I walked by and I said hello and next thing you know Vit was there talking to her in Thai whilst all the while she's looking at me smiling with a twinkle in her eye.  I offer to by her a drink and we go to the bar where Vit is keeping up his conversation with her in Thai.  I tell him to shut up and ask her what he's saying.  She says that he's saying that I'm a nice guy from the U.S and that I'm here alone blah blah blah.  I find out her name is Wassaan (pronounced Wa Sa Anne) and that she's from mainland Thailand about 3 hours away from Bangkok.  She goes to the restroom and Vit comes over clapping me on the back telling me that she's a good girl blah blah blah.  I reiterate to him as clearly as possible that I'm just here to dance and not here to pick up girls.   He says "I know, I know."  

Wassaan come back from the restroom and we dance.  It's house music, R&B and Pop and I'm having a good time.  Wassaan is not really a bad dancer but makes the classic mistake that a lot of people make when dancing and dances to fast for the music.  She falls into the category of dancers who know the moves that they are going to make while dancing so they don't listen to the music and adjust accordingly.  It's sad really because you end up looking silly.  But we danced anyway because you know I love to dance.  We dance a while and then go back to the to get a drink.  She goes to the restroom again but before she leaves she starts kissing me on the neck.  Okaaayyyy.   She comes back, we finish our drinks and dance some more.  

This time on the dance floor is different.  There is a lot of kissing of the neck, trying to kiss my lips, there is grabbage of my crotch all leading me to believe that she is looking for something more than just dancing with me.  This was confirmed when Vit tells me on our next dance break that she wants to go home with me and then tells me "no money, no money, you don't have to pay!"  No!  When she comes back from the restroom (third time in and hour for those of you counting.  I think she might be doing coke or just has a weak bladder.) we talk some more and find out while she feeling me up and snuggling in my neck all the while trying to give me tongue, that she's 30 years old has three kids and she didn't have a "job".  I didn't want to ask anymore not my business, not my job so we dance and it's clear what she wants.  When the song ends we go back to the bar and I tell her that I'm only out tonight to dance.  I tell her that I'm not looking to take her or anyone else home with me tonight.  I'm looking in her eyes to make sure that she understand this then reach out to touch her shoulder.  She backs away from me with a look of anger in her eyes.  I try to touch her shoulder again and she backs away again.  I explain again that I'm just looking to drink and dance and that's it.  She gets an attitude and turns away from me.  Okay.  I tell them I'm out of here and start walking to the front of the club.  Once there I grab a drink and a seat and watch as first Wassaan leaves the club looking for me, can't find me then goes back inside, followed by Vit who comes out look for me, doesn't see me sitting right there in front of him and then goes back inside.  Fuck 'em.  I sit there drinking my gin tonic.  Few minutes later Vit comes out and sees me.  He comes over and says that "maybe I think she love you.  I think maybe she think you love her the way you dance with her."  I tell him that that's the way I dance with everyone.  No love involved.   He tells me "I don't know Thailand" and I tell him that he doesn't know me!  I tell him that I'm not like every Tom, Dick and Harry that comes to Thailand to get there dick wet.  I tell him that I told him many times that I just came out to dance and dance only.  He apologized profusely and we hop on his scooter and head back to the hotel.  

On the way back to the hotel we pass this bar called Big Bar that Vit says he hasn't been to in a while and wants to know if I want to stop.  I agree and we go inside.  It's a hip hop bar full of locals, not a tourist or hooker girl in sight.  We spend the next 2 hours there having an amazing time.  I end up getting drunk off of some blue drink that Vit orders for me because the bartender couldn't understand that I wanted a gin tonic.  He asks if I'm having a good time and I assured him that I am.  We leave and head back to the hotel but stop at a little roadside restaurant and have a very tasty Thai meal.  My head is spinning from the blue drinks and I think that I'm going to blow chunks a couple of times but don't thankfully.  

I'm dreading the ride back to the hotel because now my head is spinning.  Fortunately, Vit is not a speed demon on the ride back and he drops me off safely.  It's 5am and I'm seriously tipsy and tired.  I wake up at 230pm later that day.  Thankfully it's overcast so I didn't miss any sun time.  

I see Vit later that day and he happy to see me.  He tells his fellow bellboys what a good time we had last night.  I'm not sure if he mentioned all of last nights happening to his fellow staffers but they all seem to be extra friendly, both men and women and are extremely accommodating during the reminder of my stay.  

- Wil

 

Not a nice guy

Why is it that people make the mistake of taking kindness for weakness?  Case in point.  I'm laying on the beach in Koh Samui minding my own business when this guy walks by selling sarongs, tablecloths, hammocks and other things as people typically do to tourist on tropical islands.  Some of the things are really nice and you can sometimes get really good deals.  I spy a red Thai sarong that I rock be able to rock on the beach because hey I'm on vacation and I my as well do as the locals do, right?  So I ask him to come over.  On close inspection the sarong isn't completely red, the borders are red but the main body of the sarong is this pinkish color that I don't like so I know I'm not going to buy it.  I see another one, blue with flowers on it that might make a nice gift for someone so I start the haggling process not in ernest but just to see what he's willing to do with the price.  As expected he's willing to do a lot but the prices are so ridiculously overpriced that I really don't feel like going through this process so I say nevermind I'm really not interested.  He wrongly interprets this a ploy on my part to get him to drop the prices even lower and he continues to bargain with me.  I tell him "no, I really don't want" but he continues to say "cheaper, cheaper, I make you good deal, you tell me how much you pay" and out comes the calculator.  I've been here before many time in China and Cambodia and frankly want none of it right now so I tell him "no I really don't want to buy anymore."  He asks me "why no buy?" I say because "I don't want.  I changed my mind I just don't want anymore."  

Now at this point any other person would have realized that the potential sale is over and would have packed up their stuff and moved on.  No, not this guy!   He gets a little angry and says "well why did you say you want in the first place?" I say "because at first I did but now I don't.   That's what happens in the selling business.  Sometimes people change their minds."  He says "changed your mind huh?"   Then proceeds to tell me that I'm not nice, all the while still trying to haggle with me by dropping the price even lower.  I laughingly say "I'm not a nice guy because I changed my mind.  Don't get upset.  I just don't want to carry it back to NYC with me.  (I've learned from China and Cambodia that the things that you think won't add weight to your backpack DO and I'm not into lugging a ton a stuff around with me.  Lesson learned.)  

At this point he gets really angry when he realizes that I'm not haggling and that I'm seriously not going to buy and says that "I wasted his time, I changed my mind" goes on to say again that I'm not nice and starts calling me evil.  I'm still being cool because I know that he's just trying to make a sale.  So he finally folds up his items and packs them up in his bag and as he gets up to leave he says "You're an evil man.  Fuck off.  Fuck off evil man."  Okay, that's it!  I've had enough.  I get up off of the lounger that I'm laying on and say "Fuck off?!  Fuck off?! You better keep stepping little man before I kick your "fuck off" ass!"  He hurries away and now I have all my fellow sun worshippers staring at me.  You think I care.  No.

The kids from COSO 1 & 2

Torla.  This was the first picture he drew for me.  
Torla and me.  

Nadja and Simone
Roy, Nadja and some amazing kids.
I love this picture of this little kids.  
Here he is again upright this time.  
He's has much behind those eyes to be so young.

How cute is she!!
I've found that in the Asian countries they love flashing the peace sign.  What's with that?

A gaggle of kids and one big one.  
My buddy Torla sporting the bandana I gave him and Sarey (red shirt)

Vatha!  What a great name. 
Five sisters and their dad.  
Entertaining the kids with my guitar.  
Adorable, and a really good artist as well.  
Wisdom at such a young age.  
Simone and some of the girls.  
Posing for the camera.  
Again with the peace sign. 


Planoy.  What an amazing kid he is.  




The three Muskateers.  

The mischief maker.
COSO 1 kids celebrating Jo's birthday.  They made the giant card for her.  




Sophat.  Torla running buddy.  

Yem.  Wise beyond her years.  
Working the hula hoop under the outdoor shelter.  It was blazing hot this day.  

I don't know which of the older girls put blue eye liner on him but it's still a great shot of him.  
Me and a couple of friends.  

Tonle Sap Lake Siem Reap, Cambodia