I also want to say Thank You for reading the Vagabond Monologues. I thank you for your comments on the blog, your questions and your private emails and phone calls to me letting me know how much you appreciate the blog. The comment that I've received the most from people is that "it feels like I'm there along with you living this adventure." I can't tell you how much that and all your comments means to me. Thank you.
Many have said to me that I thought that you were going to be away a lot longer after China and in truth I was. My original plan was to visit Vietname, Laos, the Philippines and any other country that struck my fancy. Fortunately or unfortunately this wasn't to be the case.
What happened you might ask? In a nutshell the kids at COSO happened. I was emotionally tired beat. I knew when I left I had gotten emotionally attached to the kids. I knew that. It was really hard leaving but leave I did secure in the knowledge that me sponsoring Torla through COF was the right thing to do. When I got to Koh Samui, Thailand and was confronted with dreary weather the first four days there and a sinus infection headache that lasted for four days. The weather echoed my mood. I was pensive and every waking moment my thoughts turned to Torla, Votha, Srey and the rest of the kids there. I couldn't get them out of my mind. I toyed with the idea of leaving Koh Samui and going back to Siem Reap and spending the next few weeks there hanging with the kids. I thought about permanently moving to Siem Reap. I thought about adoption. I thought about working with Nick and the work that he's doing in Siem Reap. (This was so typical Wil. Thinking about packing up and moving and making a major decision based purely on emotions. Fortunately, I've never been burned by acting rash like this in the past. This time, however, I let logical side guide my heart and have come up with other ways that I can help out.) I thought and thought and thought until I couldn't think anymore and then I thought go home. So I came home.
The only person that I knew that I was coming home was my sister Sharon. She had strict instructions not to let the family know. When I walked in the door of my mother's place needless to say she was pleasantly surprised, hugged me and said "Now I can stop worrying." Mothers.
I realized that my journey was divided into two distinct parts. There was the 9 weeks in China and the security of having a roof over my head and a place to call home. And then there was the other part where everything and I do mean everything was up in the air. My friend Paul Murdock had warned me prior to leaving for China that this second leg of the trip wouldn't be easy particularly since I was traveling alone. I poo poo-ed him and dismissed the warning and told him that I wasn't concerned because I was used to being by myself for the majority of the time. I'm not going to say that I'm a loner rather just secure and comfortable with being with me. The realization of his words hit me in the first four days of Cambodia. Touring the temple ruins by yourself, while initially interesting became old and boring after a while. Exploring all that there was to see in Siem Reap wasn't nearly as interesting as it could have been if I had had a good friend along for the ride. Going out for dinner by myself, which I am extremely comfortable doing, became a chore. I could have easily met people out at the bars and night spots but I didn't want this leg of my trip to be about consuming mass quantities of alcohol, stumbling home at all hours of the night accompanied by a hangover the next day. I didn't want that. I didn't want to be surrounded by the twenty-somethings whose only goal was to get wasted and/or hook up (not that there is anything wrong with that). I didn't want to be that person. I didn't want to be that "old" (compared to the 20 somethings) guy sitting at the bar alone amidst all the drunken revelry. I wasn't going to go out like that. So I spent time alone and truly didn't have a bad time at all but missed the company of a good friend with me. By now you know the story of me meeting Simone and Nadja from a prior post. This was the seminal moment in the Siem Reap leg of the trip. If not for this meeting I'm not sure how it all would have turned out.
The thing about leaving one place or in my case two places Beijing and Siem Reap, and going to another country is that you now have to do the same thing all over again. You have to get the lay of the land. Explore and find out what is around you. Try to meet new people; and I did. You have to get used to yet another language and explain over and over again that you want Absolute and Cranberry and inevitable get the looks that say "i have no idea what the hell you are asking for" or "cranberry?" You have to explain over and over again what it is you want, sometimes for the most simplest of things. Tiring to say the least and I realized that I wasn't up for it again. Partly because my heart was still in Siem Reap but also because I just couldn't work up the energy to tell my story yet again and again and again. So I came home.
I've mentioned in a prior post that I saw the faces of my nieces and nephews in the face of the kids at COSO. What I haven't expressed however was how powerful and jolting the experience was. I'd look up and see the face and the Hershey's chocolate Kiss complexion of my nephew and good buddy Chance looking at me. I turn left or right and see the face of my niece Madison looking at me from seven thousand miles away. I'd see wide eyed enthusiasm of my nephew Robbie. I'd see my 17 year old nephew Nigel as he was when he was much much younger in the face of a young boy calling me "Wheeeeel" just like Nige used to do when trying to pronounce Uncle Wil. I'd see the playful terror of my nephew Noah in many of the little kids who had to be including in absolutely everything. I'd see the wisdom in my niece Dominique in the girls who initially stand off to the side and see what you were all about before they came over and got to know you. I'd see the quiet reserve and then explosive playfulness of my nephew Darius in the kids who acted like they were not really part of the goings on but would get you when you weren't looking. I missed them all. So I came home.
I have had an amazing time in the past three months, four if you count the month in Biloxi. I've meet some of the most amazing people that you will ever meet and plan on staying in contact with them. Thank God for Facebook and email. (If Mary from Koh Samui is reading this please email me. Wrote your email and blog address in that book I was reading and left it in the room at my guesthouse.) I wish you all could meet each and every single one of them that I did. My life is richer because of them.
Lessons Learned:.
The squat toilet is not to be feared. Once you figure you which way you are supposed to face and what to do with your penis and that you don't have to take your pants off and after you get the balancing part down and hope and pray that they supply toilet paper or napkins so you can wipe your ass all the while trying not to get your pants wet from the wet floor or by accidentally peeing on them it's really a no brainer.
Gestures, smiles and pointing goes a long way if you don't know the language. Talking louder in English does not make one bit of a difference particularly of the person you are now yelling at doesn't know English. Duh people.
I can haggle with the best of them. Very mindful of the fact that I still want to the seller to make a profit on their sale but I don't want to get ripped of either. And they will try to rip you off too.
The "check sign" in the air is universal recognized no matter where you go.
You never really know what you are capable of until you've have to wipe your ass and not drop it in the toilet. If there is a garbage can near the toilet bowl this means that you need to drop your toilet paper there and not in the toilet. The plumbing in some countries simply can not take toilet paper in the pipes. Disposing of a tissue full of shit in a pail next to the toilet...No Problem. Next!
I don't need a closet full of clothes and shoes to survive. It's nice having them but I don't need them to live my life.
Societal economies aside people are the same everywhere you go. "We all know that people are the same wherever you go/There's good and bad in everyone/we learn to live/we learn to give each other what we need to survive." Ebony and Ivory written by Sir Paul McCartney
Tourists are stupid. Nuff said.
So what's next?
I've been asked this question often since I've been back. Honestly right now I'm just extremely happy being home. I do have some plans going forward though. One is that I'd like to get my realestate license so that I can work with my brother in his realestate office. Better commissions with me working with him than working for some other firm. Two, hopefully I'll be consulting with some friends out in NJ on some business that they are getting off the ground in the coming months.
Additionally, I'd like to take a page out of Nadja and Simone's book and get together some friends and have a clothing, school supply and funds drive to benefit the kids at COSO. I figure that with all the people that I know they are bound to have slightly used kids clothing and adult summer clothing that their kids and they are no longer using or children's book and supplies that could be put to use or spare change (and I do mean change because in the economy everyone is holding all to all the dollars they have) that is lying around in between couches, mason jars, cans tuck away someplace. A small amount a change from me alone might not mean anything; a couple of dollars at best. Multiply that by the number of people reading this and the number of people that they may know and well that could make the difference in a lot of kids life. That being said if you are the slightest bit interested in joining me or if you have any ideas on how I can make this happen please email me at: wilchappell@gmail.com I welcome your company in this endevour or your input.
I've been back in the States for three weeks today and I couldn't be happier. There is something about coming home and being around the familiar that is extremely comforting. Hearing the sounds that I'm used to hearing. Seeing the sights that I'm used to seeing and the fellowship of the people that I'm used to loving. I know that I can't be that far away from my familial base. I need to at least be on the same continent because there is an element of me that is missing when I'm that far away. So as much as I enjoyed my stay in China and Cambodia and Thailand I will not be moving there. Visit when I can, yes, often if possible, yes, but won't be moving there. With everything that is going on right now in this world the best place for me is right here with my family. Together we can weather any storm; economic, financial or natural.
Thank you again for reading The Vagabond Monologues. It's been an incredible ride. I didn't know that I had this literary voice, not that this is any where near close to being literature, more like the ramblings of a person who likes to talks too much. I didn't know that I had it in me to keep it up and let my voice be heard. Here we are some 68 posts later and the journey is at an end. Thank you for traveling with me. Thank you for hanging out till all hours of the night with me. Thank you for trying all the new and exotic foods. Thank you for crying with me. Thank you for having my back in the fight. Thank you for LYFAO with me. Thank you for helping me put smiles on the faces of some incredible kids. Thank you for traipsing through temple ruin after temple ruins with me. Thanks for hiking the Great Wall with me and being at the opening day of Track and Field in the Bird's Nest with me. Never thought that you'd be there with me taking an explosive squat did you but thanks for being there too. Thanks for being with me. More importantly thank you for my welcome home.
Thanks!! - Wil
