The ease with which

I spent the greater portion of tonight and this morning partying with my family.  I'm not talking about my immediate family, although my sister Sharon was present, rather my first and second cousins and some of their spouses and some of their older kids, my aunt and great aunt.  By no means a complete representation of the entire clan, but a good showing none-the-less.  

If I've never mentioned it here before let me do so now, I come from an amazing family!  There is so much that I can say and many instances that I can cite that will help you see my family from my perspective but I don't think that I'd would do the family any justice by trying to paint that picture.  What I will say is that I love and appreciate the ease with which the heart felt "I love you" roll off the tongue in my family.  Invariably the "I love you" is accompanied by a hug the likes of which would put a bear to shame.  And I'm not talking about just talking about from an aunt or older female cousin.  I'm talking about from the young people.  From the men.  From the  uncles.  The capacity for love in my family is a blessing.  

We are a big family.  A big family that is scattered to the four corners of the globe (yes I know a globe doesn't have corners, duh!) but a family bound by strong matrilineal ties.  While we may not have the wealth of a Rockefeller we have been blessed with these incredible familial ties that bind. They bridge space and time and keep us whole; makes us strong.  That hug and that "I love you" said right in your ear so that you can never not know what was said and meant is the physical manifestation of those ties that gets repeated over and over again in my family.  There is something so comforting in knowing that there is this group of people, your people, who love you just because you are you.  They don't want anything from you, they just love you because you exist and are part of them.  

I may not see many of my relative as often as I would like but when I do hearing those words, saying those words, feeling those words makes me feel safe and lets me know that I always have a place to come home to, lets me know that those ties still bind us forever.  

I take comfort in knowing that the greatest gift my family has ever given me is knowing that I am loved.  

- Wil

Update

Thank you for your prayers, well wishes and God's will be dones.  My sister has reported back to me that the biopsy of the tissue removed from her leg is benign.  Not cancerous!  Thank you, thank you and thank God.  

Much Love and Peace.  - Wil

Mildred and Henry

This is a post that I originally had on my myspace blog I'm entering it here because I liked it so much.  Also because there are a lot of Wil's Mildreds and Henrys out there and this post explains where it comes from.  

As a very visual person I tend to remember faces of people rather than their names.  Don't get me wrong for the time that I'm around that person I'm saying their name every chance I get in an effort to remember it during the party, the business meeting, the night out, etc.  A month or two later, however, I'm really hard pressed to recall the person's name.  But five, ten years later and I'll still remember their face and the feeling that the person evoked in me at that time.  

It can be awkward asking someone their name after they've clearly remembered yours.  Enter Mildred and Henry.  When I see a woman (or man) whose name I clearly forgot, none of this awkward business of "Hi, I forgot your name" with me.  I walk right up to her with a big smile on my face, happy to see her and remembering the good time that we had when we first met, give her a hug and say "Hey Mildred how are you?  It's really good seeing you again.", simply acting as if Mildred really and truly is her name.  Without fail she will say "Mildred?  Mildred?  My name is _______!"   I then tell her that I know it's not Mildred but I just forgot her name.  We both then get a good laugh out of it avoiding any hard feelings or awkwardness and I get to know her name again.  It works every time.  For the guys I use the name Henry to the same end.  

I'm often asked why Mildred.  Some think that the name is ugly.  I don't.  There's an old world quality and strength to the name Mildred that I like.  I've come to like this name so much so that I've taken to using it as a name of endearment with my female friends.  So at odd times I might say to one or another of them "Hey what's going on Mildred?" or "Mildred, did you..." or "Mildred, what are you doing for lunch?"  The looks that I initially received when I started calling them Mildred could have killed.  They've since come to accept the Mildred moniker as the term of endearment that it was intended.  

Corny I know, but that's just me.  

Jenoy.  - Wil

Two weeks three days

June is finally here!  I thought for some reason it would never come.  It seemed like it wouldn't way back in February when I locked in my decision to go to China.  Then it seemed like it was forever and ago away.  With the departure right around the corner and I feel completely unprepared to go.  What to bring? Leave? What to get?  First aid. Deet. Travel light, more clothing.  Can I buy there?  No, sizes too small in China.  You are a giant.  Ugh.  Decisions.  

I feel guilty about going as well.  You see there is so much going on right now in my family.  My father's glaucoma has gotten so bad that now the doctor want to schedule surgery to relieve the pressure in his eyes.  She wants to schedule the surgery now, within the month.  The surgery won't bring back any of the vision lost, it will only, hopefully prevent further sight loss.  Then there's no guarantee that he still won't lose his vision particularly in the left eye which is almost 75% blind already.  Geez.   

Furthermore, the surgery that my sister had yesterday to remove the lump on her leg near the knee looked cancerous to the doctor.  We'll find out by the end of the week if it is or not.  What if it is?  What's next?  Chemo?  Radiation?  Amputation?  

Seriously, how can I leave the country now?  

But I will leave.  I'll leave and I'll pray God's will be done.  I'll let his plan play out in their lives and in the lives of the rest of my family members just his plan is playing out in mine.   I'll step out on that message of faith that was given to my sister in law for me and leave it there in God's hands.  

With two weeks three days left in NYC I'll be operating at warp speed before I leave.  Tons of things to do, errands to run, family and friends to see.  Before I go, however, if you could just say a prayer for my sister and dad you'd be doing me a huge solid (favor) and I'd be extremely grateful. It can be as simple as you like or if you don't know what to say simply say: God's will be done.  That's what I'm gonna say.  Well that and a little bit more.     

I believe in the power of prayer. Of words spoken silently or aloud.  To God, Jesus, the Universe or just in general asking for an intercession.  Asking for something.  I believe in that power.  Kate Bush  says "and just saying it can even make it happen" in one of her songs.   Words have power!

Thanks.  God's will be done.  

- Wil

Friday May 23rd, 2008

I was in a motorcycle accident today.   

I'm okay.  I bit bruised, battered and bewildered but okay.  

I picked up my new pair of glasses on 14th street and went to talk with some friends on the corner of 19th and 7th avenue and left them with the intention of going to get something to eat at Rickshaw's on 23rd and 6th.  There was no parking available outside the eatery so I decided to go home by taking 1st Avenue all they way to the Bruckner Expressway.  

Traffic was a mess going down 1st Ave.  People were in a hurry to get out of the city or get home to start the three day weekend.  I got to the 90s without incident but at 94th street there was heavy breaking and screeching of tires on my left (I was in the middle lane) and the car directly behind the heavy screeching car jams his break to avoid the car that stopped short in front of him.  Unfortunately he wasn't stopping in time and swerves into my lane to avoid hitting the car in front of him.  I swerve to avoid him, he hits me, the bike goes skidding away from me off to who knows where.  I go flying banging my head against the ground the sliding along my right side then my back finally ending up against the curb on 94th and 1st Avenue.  My knee hurt and I had a little bit of road rash but other than that I knew I was fine.  

Before I could get up there were not one but two nurses there on the scene.  One just happened to be a specialist in neurosurgery who gave me a complete once over while lying in the street.  The other checked my pulse and limbs to make sure that nothing was broken.  The was also a first responder on the scene who also contributed to my care.  I couldn't have been in better hands.  EMT and NYPD were on the scene straightaway.  

Spent the next 4.5 hours in the hospital.  X-rays of neck came back fine.  They gave me Motrin for the banged up knee (I'm sure it will be killing me tomorrow) and some bacitracin ointment for the slight road rash on my shoulder and back.  

I asked the nurses (the ones on the street) if anyone was hurt when the motorcycle went flying.  She assured me that no one way.  Thank God.  No gas leak or anything either.  Still don't know the extent of the damage.  The engine should be fine as I have engine guards on the bike.   I'm just pissed that now I have to deal with insurance and police reports and hospital charges and the like.  Fortunately everything should be covered.  

I had the police call my sister Sharon who in turned called the rest of the family.  My brother Rob was the first to show up followed by my sisters Donna and Sharon and Sharon's boyfriend Rick.  I'm glad they showed up.  I sent them all home because it looked like I would be there for a while while they decided when they were going to send me to Xray to check my neck and I didn't want them to waste their time since I wasn't bleeding and dying and a low priority to the hospital staff.  They all left accept Donna.  She insisted on staying.  I'm glad she did.  We had a good time talking, making friends with the other infirm and stealing hospital supplies.  What!  (I need hospital masks for my visit to China. And yes I'm still going.)   

Finally I told a nurse that I was going to leave because I had had enough and shortly after my doctor came over telling me that the xrays were fine and I could leave.  Take Motrin as needed, get rest and come back if I have a headache that won't go away.  Okay, but who's going to pay for the shirts that were cut off me?  

As an aside:  I come across motorcyclists in every situation that I'm in (special hello to LN in Cary) and this situation was no exception.  So as I'm laying on the gurney in the ER the cop who rode in the ambulance with me and the EMT tells me that he likes my boots.  Now these were my brand new motorcycle boots that I'm wearing outside for the second time.  Admittedly they are nice boots but not all leather.  So as I'm laying there in obvious pain from my knee and he's going on about how nice they are.  "Thank you", I say.  "Where'd you get them", he says.  "I got them online at a motorcycle store.  Can't... remember...(sharp in-take of air because of knee pain)...the name though."  He's looking at me expectantly.  "Yeah...it's not coming (adjust the neck brace I'm wearing)...not coming to me."  "Oh okay."  he says dejectedly.  I'm like "do a google search on motorcycle boots.  The store is a bike name store it should be one of the sponsored links."  Then all of a sudden I hear Whitney Houston singing in my head and I remember.  I blurt out Whitney something or other.     "JC Whitney Mr. Police man", I say "J.C. Whitney.com I got them there."  He brightens up.  My work here is done people.

So I'm okay.  I'll check on my bike in the morning.  Hope that I can still ride it.  Yes, I plan on riding.  This hasn't deterred me from riding in the least.  I will consider giving up my bike if and only if my brother gets me that sports car he thinks I should drive instead of riding a motorcycle.  I know he won't do this so it looks like I'll continue riding.  

I'm hoping that I can still salvage this long weekend without too much pain.  

P.S. I did not have any alcohol in my system prior to the accident.  I met my friends outside the bar they had just left.  I was not drinking.  Just want to go on the record saying that.  

Have a great Memorial Weekend everyone.  - Wil

 

Pictures

Finally, as promised here are some photos that I took while in Biloxi.

These are some of the chainsaw sculptures that are along Beach Blvd. These used to be Live Oak trees. The root system is still below ground.

Last day on the construction site:

Notice the water line! Can you imagine?:

Here's the outdoor showers:

Here's my room:

- Wil

...and then some

I haven't been able to summarize my time in the south in the written word.  Oh, I've been able to talk about it at length enough, but every time I've tried to do the same in written form I've failed miserably.  So I'm not going to try to sum it up any more.

My friend Stone, Conway Stone asked me if I got what I expected out of my time volunteering.  My answer is a resounding YES and then some.  

Sorry that I have this writer's block where I can't sum it all up.  Maybe in some other post.  For now know that the work was rewarding and I wouldn't have changed it for the world.  I'll be back in Biloxi at some point to help out again.  It may be in the winter or next spring but I'll be back.  There so much to do.  

This blog will continue as I travel to China and South East Asia.  My travels start on June 28th but I'll continue blogging about life, family, friends and my prep for this upcoming trip.  

Thanks for reading.  - Wil