If I was tell to you that I'm not afraid on this journey that I'm about to embark on I'd be lying through my teeth. Lately I've been thinking "What the hell are you doing? Are you serious? Are you sure you want to do this?"
I'm not talking about leaving my job and not being employed for the better part of this year. No, I'm talking about hitting the road in a couple of weeks by myself and heading south on my motorcycle. I'm talking about leaving for China at the end of June for months and vagabonding by myself. I'm kinda petrified. No seriously I really am.
I think about all the possible things that could go wrong and some of the things that I haven't thought about that could go wrong. I think about the worst case situanarios (situation/scenarios) where my life is on the line and it's only me and my will to live that decides whether I live or die. (God this sounds really stupid as I type this, but this is what I think about.) I think about the negative people that I might meet along the way that won't like me or will try to hurt me or just be mean to me. I think about things that my friends have told me about China and how it my be so culturally different than what I'm used to and wonder if I will be able to adjust. I think about me being a black man traveling by himself and people's reaction to me.
When I done thinking about all this, after I've worked myself up I allow myself to feel all the fear, but I don't let it petrify me into inaction. I feel the fear and know that I'm going to do it anyway. I can't prepare for every eventuality that I might meet on the road and I can't prepare for people's reaction to me. I know me though. I know that I walk this life with love in my heart and I'm sure that other will see this as they get to know me. Cultural differences, I say bring em on. That's what this trip is all about. It's about stepping outside my comfortable box for a while and experiencing this part of the world. Traveling by myself, I've been doing this off and on throughout my adult life anyway only difference here is that this will be for a longer period of time. As for danger, I grew up in the South Bronx in the sixties and seventies so bring it. LMFAO.
You shouldn't worry about me. I've worried enough for the both of us and I've let it go and so should you.
It felt good getting this out. Thanks for listening. - Wil
2 comments:
Beautiful post!!
-Mike
All we have to fear, is fear..... that's right Bro, bring it on !!!! I commend you on your free spirit. Some people just don't understand the bouncing around that's in all of us. Its there in every person, but few, very few get to actually experience it. Its feels good, so good that you want more and more of it. Me for one, will be watching, reading and praying for you on your mission. Yep, that's right, its a mission. You have set on on this with a purpose in mind. But you have to look at the big picture. You're not in control. Look up, really look up for a couple of minutesand think. Naw, don't think just look. Its amazing isn't it? Some one, some being create all of that and he create man also. With that in mind, let me get back to reading.
MJChappell2004@gmail.com
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